Thai Table Manners-Put Down the Chopsticks!

When visiting Thailand, you should eat like a Thai…literally. And mind your Thai table manners.

Yes, table manners are important to Thais. No, making a pig of yourself as if you’re at an all-you-can-eat buffet is not cool.

After 25 years of marriage to my Thai wife and being press ganged into Thai culture, I have learned to eat like Thai people.

Rule #1: Put Down the Damn Chopsticks!

Thais eat Thai food with a spoon and fork. They do not use chopsticks.

The spoon (usually a table spoon) is used to bring food to your mouth. The fork is used to maneuver your food around your plate and onto the spoon. Generally, spoon in the right hand; fork in the left.

Individual table settings will not have a knife. Knives are used in the kitchen-not the dining table. Meat is served already cut-up into bite sizes. When you do need to cut something on your plate, Thais will use the spoon.

Chopstick Exceptions

Thais use chopsticks when eating Chinese food. (Duh!) They also use chopsticks to eat their many varieties of noodle soup (guideow).

At Thai restaurants in Thailand, you’ll see a jar of chopsticks on the table. They’re used for the noodle soups-a lunch time staple. But even then, the chopsticks are used to snatch goodies from your bowl of guideow and place them onto a spoon.

Chop sticks are NOT used for kao pad, pad Thai, omelettes, pad kee mao, curries of any color, crispy pork, rad na, pad grapao, salt fish, sausages, on and on, or the myriad of Thai dishes made by street vendors or the 25 Michelin starred Thai cuisine restaurants in the country.

Rule #2: The Jasmine Rice Rules For Family Style Dinners

Rice is often the first thing to go on your plate. Sometimes it’s served by someone walking around the table and serving you. Sometimes a bowl (aluminum with Thai designs) is simply set on the table. You decide how much you want. (Remember you can always get more.)

It’s fine to put a pile of rice onto your plate as long as you eat it. I eat very little rice with dinner and Thai people think it quite strange.

Rarely at restaurants or Thai homes will white rice be served in individual servings. If ordered separately, rice is usually served on a small plate that can be shared with the table. Sticky rice is often served in individual containers (more on sticky rice later), but white rice is not.

Cultural Tip: Rice usually is part of lunch food. Example: pad grapao or kao mun gai 

Rule #3: Don’t Be A Piggy With The Thai Food

You can pile your plate high with rice, BUT don’t do that with the Thai food. You’re not in an American buffet line!

Take small portions of the Thai food. (An average Thai meal will have 3-5 different dishes available.) Then eat that small portion before going on to the other dishes or getting more of the same. That’s how Thai people eat-really.

Should you put the Thai food on top of the rice? It really depends on the type of food. With most dishes, Thai people put it to the side of their rice. But with curries, they often ladle it right over the rice. It’s completely up to you.

I’m serious about small portions. Thai sometimes even use a serving spoon to put a bite of food directly onto their spoon. Maybe add a little rice, piece of ginger, chile, peanut, whatever to get just the perfect taste. Then they eat a spoonful.

A quick review of Rule #3: Take a small portion, then eat that portion before moving on.

Rule #4: Don’t Eat With Your Hands

I violate this simple rule more than any other. But what do you expect from someone whose culture adores pizza and hamburgers.

The surest way to raise eyebrows at the Thai dining table is to start eating with your hands.

I know that drumstick looks awfully good sitting there on the serving plate, but try to refrain from grabbing and eating it with your hands. That bowl of peanuts in front of you-don’t dip you hand into it and grab a fistful-use a spoon to retrieve them from the bowl.  I could go on and on….

Exceptions: Sticky rice-eat it with your hands. Lettuce, cucumbers, herbs, etc. (served fresh on a large plate)-eat with your hands.

Rule #5: Forget All The Prior Rules

Thais are wonderfully forgiving to foreigners when it comes to table manners. Unless you act in some completely disgusting way, Thais don’t care how you eat. They just want you to try and like their food.

All the table manners I’ve mentioned above, you could easily figure out in five minutes by just being a good observer at the dinner table.

The only table manner that means anything is being a good dinner guest.

Tips, Tidbits, Odds & Ends, Warnings and Other Sundry Items

Here’s a free-flowing list of miscellaneous Thai table manner issues that can pop up at the dinner table:

• Thais like to watch farangs eat Thai food. They want you to like it because its their culture. I was raised to not stare at people while they eat (typical farang table manner). Some Thais will stare at you when you eat. Get used to it.
• Thais don’t dine alone by choice. The more the merrier. Its fine to show up unannounced for dinner, or invite yourself along if people are heading out.
• No one in Thailand has gotten the memo that it’s impolite to talk on your cell phone during dinner.
• Alcohol flows freely.
• Thai people think it’s really cool to drink wine. They love to drink wine with farangs. (Just like we love to eat Thai food with Thais.) If you’re invited to dinner and you bring a bottle of wine, you’ll be treated like a conquering hero.
• If you like a certain Thai dish and you finished it, Thais often, without asking you, will order another dish even when you’re completely stuffed.
• There are no “courses” at a Thai dinner. The food just starts showing up. Start eating as soon as the food is put on the table. More is coming.
• You will face larger cultural issues than merely table manners if you eat at a Thai restaurant in Thailand that serves a Thai clientele. Read my post “Fat Rice & Chicken: A Cultural Chasm” and try to cross this cultural bridge. 

The End of a Meal

Thais have a mini-ritual for when you’ve finished eating. Put the fork over the spoon on your plate. This signals everyone-waitress and friends-that you’re done.

Bon Appetit